Here’s a new one. Despite the fact that shooting photos of Air Force One is a complete waste of the cost of flying those F-16s and that 747 around NYC’s skyline (remember, they have to fly out to NYC), I really don’t get this stupid episode in the Obama administration. Maybe it’s a Republican plot (for the record, I’m one of those moderates that the two parties are supposed to be vying for each election so, no, I’m not being biased here). Maybe it’s just another example of how the ignorance of the average American is taking this country for a ride to oblivion. But, what the fuck?
First off, the civilian factor: have you fucking idiots never seen Air Force One? For fuck’s sake, there were idiots with stuffed AF1′s during Obama’s inauguration! It’s one of the most recognizable planes in the world! And you can’t see this big assed blue fucking plane (yeah, they must have hijacked AF1…with the President on it…really, it’s so easy to do) that you’ve seen your whole fucking lives as an unusual but not in any way freaky thing? Wait, how about this one? It’s flanked by two jets…fighter jets…with weapons…that could splash that SOB in no time…in fact, they would’ve splashed it long before it got to the skyline.
Alright, let’s assume you’ve spent your life watching Oprah, stuffing your face with Quarter Pounders with Cheese and you get your news from the local news or CNN where, in there desperate attempts to find something relevant to fill the OTHER 23 hours that have no relevant news. And, in that so called life, you’ve remained ignorant of two things: we have a big fucking blue plane that ferries our President around and that we have fighter jets…you know…the strongest military on the planet (at least in terms of training, discipline and technology…I’m not counting the armies of North Korea or China which are all about sending masses of lemmings at an enemy, old-school style). Fine. My bad, it can happen.
Let’s look at the government side. Bloomberg was pissed. As he should be…when some bureaucrat he probably never met, that he pays a decent but meager wage to, and who is uninteresting to him because he isn’t a millionaire or otherwise donating money to him or his campaign for whatever office he’s hoping he can get manages not to march into his office and let him know that there’s going to be a flyby in his city of AF1…the…uh, President’s fucking plane. Meanwhile, everyone known to man was notified as they should’ve been. I mean, I think they didn’t bother notifying the janitor at the morgue or something. It’s okay, just slam your fist on your desk and foam at the mouth…yell at some lackey and ask them why the fuck you weren’t notified. Maybe you should try getting some management training…
Sure, maybe it wasn’t the best thought out plan. I mean, you’re thinking about cities to fly that big blue beast and you’re thinking of which would look the best:
- Los Angeles?
- Naw, too ugly.
- San Francisco?
- Too gay.
- Chicago?
- No one would know it was Chicago…except Chicagoans.
- I know! New York.
- Yeah, let’s fly a big assed plane through NYC and take some snappies! Wait, what about 9/11, won’t that scare people?
- True. I know, we’ll send a fighter escort. People will get that the plane’s being guided by our fighters!
- Perfect. Let’s notify the liaisons!
Whatever. The reality is some guy lost his job (who knows? Maybe this was just a great excuse to get rid of some guy they hated) for doing his job. How often do you see that? Unfortunately, too often. Maybe this isn’t a new one then. Maybe this is just more of the same. Maybe one day, we’ll all be too scared of just about everything that we’ll have to return the caves of our ancestors…and we can start civilization all over again!
Sweet. Where do I sign up? I can’t wait to start dragging women to my cave by the hair…it’s so 2010.