Posts Tagged ‘Microsoft’

Microsoft = Anti PC Gaming?

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Here’s a prime example of irony. Microsoft is axing the PC version of upcoming thriller Alan Wake. The big question is whether you believe the PR line (that it’s a game better suited to a TV in a living room than the “intimacy” of a PC) or if you want to read between the lines and look at the revenue line ($10 per unit sold isn’t pocket change).

The irony of course is this is coming from the company that CREATED the PC platform (well, the OS at least) and squeezed out the absolutely putrid Games for Windows initiative…you know for the first time in I don’t know how many GFW games I’ve bought the Update function ACTUALLY worked in BioShock 2.

Maybe instead of making a stupid announcement like this they should’ve just said they’re delaying the PC version “until it’s ready” or something lame but less lame than “PC gaming is useless to us”.

Granted, Alan Wake might be a completely stupid game, though Remedy did make Max Payne (and MP2), bringing one of the first if not THE first game to make Bullet Time a key gameplay function. This game’s supposed to be innovative in the use of light and dark…an interesting idea if pulled off right.

But, back to the gripe. I know right now is essentially the polar opposite of the game industry ten years ago when console gamers were griping about not getting a lot of good games that just released for PC only. So, you might expect this sort of uprising…especially after the whole COD MW2 debacle. Plus, more and more games that do make it to PC tend to be hampered with controls that were obviously geared towards a gamepad.

What does this mean? Nothing. It just means PC gaming is slowly being relegated to the state that Mac gaming was in just a few years ago. The better selling games will make it over with sales figures filtering out the crap that doesn’t sell on the console side.

The real downside? Independent game developers who don’t have the benefit of millions of development and marketing dollars might never get to expose their product across platforms if the console gaming crowd (which includes a younger demographic more interested in fast-action games than the type of games coming out of indie establishments).

Honestly, though, Microsoft’s PR department needs a reboot (which just happens to be the best advice for anyone running their OS and having issues). Who cares if you don’t want to worry about or waste time on a PC version of Alan Wake…a game that might make a dent but won’t likely achieve COD/Sims-like numbers when it’s released. Why would you stir up the bee hive with dumb comments like that (especially with Remedy personnel making it look like they don’t have a choice in the matter and are on the PC gamers’ side) when you could just let it lie? Just say nothing: “Alan Wake is hitting shelves this Spring for XBox 360!” If someone asks, just tell them, the standard gaming PR line: “We have not set a release date for the PC version as yet. Stay tuned.”

It’s always funny how Microsoft seems to step on toes all over the fucking place. If it isn’t tossing out substandard OSes (no, I haven’t tried Windows 7 yet…any reason for me to? Right…), mediocre IDEs (though I can’t say any of the open source IDEs out there have impressed me…they try too hard to be everything for everyone), and craptastic Games For Windows support. The whole initiative seems more like Guantanamo than Eden. The funny thing? I think despite the drawbacks of Steam, they’re doing a better job of promoting PC gaming and bringing together a community.

Speaking of Steam, if you get VAC banned, you can’t use any of your games on VAC servers…it’s not just one game…ALL of your games…not that I cheat but all it takes is one Blizzard-like banning event to fubar your game collection. Sort of bullshit if you ask me…

Is there a solution to all this (the PC gaming thing)? Of course, but the game publishers out there don’t really care. They don’t spend time finding a solid anti-piracy solution (including a simple phone home feature similar to online activation with a built-in expiration date so it’s not required after a year or something) and have their developers hack out a simple solution that fails or use something draconian like SecuROM which ends up fucking people’s computers up.

Whatever…here’s to hoping game publishers learn where their money originally came from (and there are still a lot more PCs out there than consoles…just fewer kiddies behind them). And as each subsequent generation starts earlier and earlier with electronics and computers, more of them will be in front of computing devices other than consoles more often (sorry, my console doesn’t go with me when I travel or when I’m at lunch at work). Talk about money on the table…

out

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Posted in Game Development | No Comments »

Microsoft’s Secret Crush on Apple

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

So, the NY Times is saying Ballmer is going to announce Microsoft’s own slate tablet that it brewed up with HP at CES. Gizmodo’s got a demo of a prototype (which looks like it’s virtual until you see the photos further down…okay, it still looks virtual).

Let’s start with the device first. I’m torn here. On the one hand it looks like what you’d expect a business-centric slate device should look like: an organizer. The ability to mix handwritten notes with photos and the like are a given (I mean, otherwise, you’d have an early 2000s slate PC which didn’t take off for a reason…who wants a boring barely functional PC?). The multi-touch support is also a given now that the iPhone is so ingrained into society as a whole now.

But on the other hand, just like my Palm which is sitting in some box somewhere with CAT3 cables and some dohickey for some device I no longer have, if all it does is act as a glorified personal organizer, why in the hell would I pay $1000 for that? Why not just pay $50 and get a paper organizer and be done with it?

If that’s the extent of what the tablet’s going to be able to do (I’m assuming Microsoft’s hoping there’ll be more apps but I’m also assuming they’re going to make sure Word, Excel, and Powerpoint all work on it…right? Hello?), it’s useless beyond being something to show off in a few years as a “this is what it used to look like before they made it better”…kinda like those brick cell phones from the 80′s.

Granted, I have no idea if Apple’s going to be smart enough not to make their tablet a larger version of an iPhone (iPhone 3GSH…the H is for HUGE). But, they’ve also got to be thinking the device HAS to to somehow leverage their App Store. I mean, you’ve got to be stupid (or Apple) to scrap a huge industry you created yourself just so you can shine a spotlight on some new creation from the darkest regions of your R&D labs.

Now back to our show. Or rather, Microsoft’s. Pretty funny that we only just got wind of the tablet announcement the day of Ballmer’s keynote. I mean, after all, doesn’t someone who’s keynoting one of the biggest (if not THE biggest) electronics conventions in the world plan their speach ahead of time. It couldn’t be because Jobs blew a sweet kiss of rumor talk into the ear of the WSJ just a couple days ago and because Macworld Expo is around the corner, could it? Couldn’t Microsoft just announced it at Macworld–oh, yeah, they only sorta like the Mac.

Maybe Microsoft should stop playing the frenemy card and just ask Apple out. Tell Apple how beautiful their designs are…for people who like designs. And show off your every-day-practical design and engineering…you know, the same design engineering that made Vista such a success.

Or maybe, you could talk about how great it would be, now that Macs run on the same hardware as PCs, if you could just figure out a better way to let Macheads and Windozers just-just get along.

On the plus side (for me; Microsoft, we’re done here, move along), at least this means Apple will have some potential competition (in some demographics). But, Apple’s track record means, all that will happen is Apple will keep it’s price at $1000 and Microsoft/HP will down it to $750 somehow ($850 with Microsoft Office bundled with it! A savings of over $199!!!!).

Stay tuned…

out

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Posted in Apple, Microsoft, Tablet | No Comments »

Another Patent Troll Surfaces…

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

paltalk-logoSeems there’s another company (they breed like cockroaches) with patents on an idea that’s as basic to today’s world as breathing.

PalTalk Holdings (note: holdings…which means, we can’t make money doing anything so we have to buy some patents and sue people) managed to convince Microsoft it wasn’t worth pursuing a $90 million lawsuit. They settled in a way that sounds like Microsoft either agreed to pay a couple million a year in licenses or a nice lump sum of a few million more for a lifetime license (something these trolls love to do).

Now, CocksuckTalk Holdings is pointing its grubby little paws at MMO makers, SOE, Activision Blizzard, NCSoft, and Jagex (the makers of Runescape). With Blizzard pulling in over $1 billion a year with WoW, you can imagine what these cocksuckers are seeing. I’m sure they’re hoping they can get a solid settlement that adds up to tens of millions of dollars a year or a lump sum closer to $100 million so they don’t have to worry about their in ability to produce something worth selling.

This sort of trolling sickness has got to be stopped. It’s 100% counter to the point behind a patent system. I’m telling you right now, the more this sort of bullshit is allowed to continue the less innovation as a method of advancement and commerce will be seen as worthwhile.

If you’re going to patent something, patent it to protect what you’re producing. And, the USPTO needs to learn to stop allowing generic patents through.

And, assuming the patent isn’t that generic (this article hints that it was more specific and thus wasn’t even applicable), Microsoft handed PalTalk what it needed to make life hard for a lot of people. Mind you, most aggressive trolls suffer the consequences of their greed but time will tell if we’ll be able to see PalTalk’s bankruptcy filing in the near future.

Hey, PalTalk, you’re ranking high on the list of those who just can’t suck enough. Go fuck  yourselves and find something better to do…

Boy, I hope they piss off someone at Blizzard enough for them to invest a few million in ripping you to shreds. And, as you shiver and moan in the aftermath, all you see is all that money you were hoping to make off this go towards buying back all your credibility you left behind in a pool of your own blood.

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Posted in Bad Business Model, Games, General Stupidity, Greed, Patents | No Comments »

Google Pwns Microsoft?

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

No way it looks that good!
In not unexpected news, Google’s decided to bring bland, boring UI and perpetual beta software to your PC! Here’s the actual announcement link.

C’mon guys. I mean, okay, Chrome is super fast and great for people who want a fast clean browser to hit up your usual pron sites. But, as the basis for an operating system? Web apps are advanced but not that advanced. And, don’t give me this bullshit about iGoogle being a great UI. Google’s UIs have generally sucked more than anyone cares to admit since they’re free.

Google’s UIs have largely been uninspired, drab, and utilitarian. Do you really want that for the OS that you’re going to stare at (ideally) at work and at home? Sure you’ll run other apps so some of it will go away but you’ll still see it. And don’t tell me to wait for a third-party to fix it…that shouldn’t be a requirement.

Tell you what, if you’re still running XP, go change the look and feel from the Windows XP Style to the Windows Classic Style. I’ll wait a sec…wait for it…waiting…cue screams of terror. Simplistic overly utilitarian designs are crap. No one buys Apple computers, phones or iPods because they’re drab and designed for utility over looks.

And, OS reliability and performance? You understand why your Google Searches are fast…there IS no OS. They use a bare-bones stripped down Linux OS that likely has NO UI…they probably terminal into it. Besides, half their products are still in beta and unless you’re paying a premium good luck when they go down. Redundancy isn’t going to help you at home with a single computer. They’ve got thousands. It’s like the difference between losing a neuron or your entire brain…guess which one is more noticeable.

Then there’s compatibility. What browser are you using? What word processor, spreadsheet and presentation software are you using? Any of them say Google on them (no not the friggin search field)? Of course not. Sure you use Google all the time…it’s called a search engine. You know why you use it (outside of the fact that it worked better than all the others that are long gone or trying to re-launch themselves as something better years too late)? Because you can use it in ANY browser. FireFox is not Google. Put that hand down.

Apple-Steve-JobsSo, why rant about this? Actually, it’s not what you think. Sure I think they’re going to make a shitty OS that will be like, I dunno, every Linux GUI created or the BeOS or something, where it’s cool and interesting but ultimately not what you use everywhere else in life. Naw, that’s not the problem. It’s not that it’s adding competition to the OS market. That’s actually GOOD. It’s about time someone who actually has a chance (i.e. has money and is a household name) gave Microsoft a run for their money. What about Apple you ask? What about them? All this time…especially the last few years with the iPod and iPhone. What’s their marketshare? 10% for the OS? 8% for the Macs themselves. And, their PCs are still too expensive compared to everyone else (okay, maybe not TOO expensive but still on the high side of comparables).

No, my problem is that Google’s OS stands to lower the bar on OS prices. Good you say? Good for you the consumer, sure. You pay less. But, you know you get what you pay for right? Think about it from another perspective. You know how you’ve got that fancy graphics card in your machine? How you like to play Halo, Crysis or something more fun like COD? If it weren’t for the fact that game devs weren’t trying to achieve crazy like making reflective water or realiwindows_7_9stic blood or something, you’d still be using a 64kB chip sitting on the motherboard…staring at spinach green or amber text while you tap out a document or read some mail. Then you’d fire up Pong or something stupid because no one wanted to bring out the best of the machine in front of you…they just wanted to make money off a cheap OS.

Is it the end of the world? Naw. It changes the playing field and like I said, it’ll light a fire under Microsoft’s ass so they might actually try to innovate finally instead of creating bloated malware. We’ll have to see but I’m warning you: keep an eye on Google’s OS…it might turn your screen into a blob of pastel boxes with lots of Google Ads all around the edges. You heard it here first.

out

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Posted in Google, Microsoft, Technology | No Comments »

IE 8: Why bother?

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

First, sorry for the hiatus…life called. Enough said.

Alright, full disclosure here on two fronts: first, I have NOT used IE 8 yet. I’ve got Virtual PC and a virtual waiting for me to try that nutter out. Second, I’m a Web developer by trade and have had to deal with the craptastic support for Web standards in IE6 and IE7.

I’ve been a loyal IE user for years (up until I discovered FireBug on FF2, at least) largely because it was (and still is, I might add) the predominant browser out there. If you’re going to develop a site for anyone but your local Linux or Mac group, you’re going to be developing for some version of IE.

Now, IE 8′s supposed to be this great new release of IE that brings it up to par with Web standards while improving speed, security, and your waist size or whatever the PR department decides to churn out. For me, the Web developer, I’m looking forward to better Web standards support so I don’t have to tie my code into knots trying to make it work with IE6 (good luck with CSS selectors) and IE7 (JS processing speed is only marginally faster than IE6) while still being compatible with FF (2 had its issues too, you know).

But, here’s the thing…the majority of people USING current IE versions could care less about Web standards. All they care about is that they got this new computer and lookie here! It comes with a Web browser. Internet Explorer? Whatever, just show me the way to my porn sites! I’m ready! And what do they care about? Simple: does the site I want to get to display properly and otherwise work?

Here’s the catch though…since the majority of the herd people out there are already using IE and Web developers like myself have to support them, those sites ARE going to work with IE. Meanwhile, I’ve got my twenty different search toolbars, I’ve got tabbed browsing, I’ve got great phishing support so people can steal my information, I’m set!

What’s IE8 got? Outside of better Web standards support? Check out the feature list…it’s frigging boring! Web slices sounds interesting…except it’s just a glorified RSS feed. Accelerators? Yeah, accelerators to Windows sites we don’t want to use. I love it…I can almost see a Microsoft representative standing on a stage in front of the press positively glowing about all these great places you can go with a single right-click. It’s like shopping at Whole Foods. It seems like every day you see another “store brand” taking over shelf space.

To invoke the spirit of Henry Ford with a smidge of paraphrase: You can view maps, email, search and shop for anything you want, as long as you do it on a Windows Live site. It’s hilarious. Where are the anti-trust lawyers when you need them?

Better still, it seems IE8′s not doing a whole lot to set itself apart from Microsoft’s wonderful reputation for crapware. I mean, c’mon…add something cool…give us a reason to switch. Or do the FireFox thing and give your users no friggin choice. Oh wait, I think they heard me.

Welcome to Microsoft’s version of choice. Your choice? Cut yourself off from security updates and the like if you prefer to stick with what you’ve got. It doesn’t matter if your toolbars might not be compatible. It doesn’t matter if you just happen to like using a dated and broken browser…you’ve got to upgrade from useable to shit.

Congratulations, Microsoft. You’re maintaining your suckage levels at their highest levels. You still can’t stuck enough!

Suck me.

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Posted in Internet Explorer, Technology | 1 Comment »

Microsoft’s Security Knows No Bounds

Thursday, March 12th, 2009

So, I started getting annoyed by the fact that Windows (XP) was prompting me to Install Updates and Shutdown, rather than just Shutdown, despite the lack of a Windows Update icon in the system tray. I’ve seen it before and it’s annoyed me before (how do I know this isn’t some malware trying to hijack the process?…then again, how do I know that Windows Update icon is real?).

Anyhow, I finally got prompted with Windows Updates to install. Amongst the ten or more other minor security fixes (nothing new), there it was: “Office 2003 Service pack 3″. Oh noes! They secretly released a service pack. What’s it got? It’s chock full of stupidity with a slathering of futility. The best one? This little line item:

Office 2003 can no longer open or save certain file formats. For more information, see Microsoft Knowledge Base Article 938810.

If you check out that little KB, you’ll get a blurb about some old file types that they won’t let you open anymore. The best part? It’s all or nothing. You can’t go into some snazzy interface (or something as clumsy as the File Types interface off the OS menus) and just check off something to agree to this. You’ve got to just accept it.

Sure you can scroll down a little further in that KB and find registry files to download and apply to restore access to those files but…really?

It’s another example of Microsoft’s typical bull dozer mentality. Just do the least amount of work, regardless of the user experience, so we don’t have to be liable or have to deal with negative PR.  That sort of mentality’s worked well for US automakers…

Now, I can’t say I give a rat’s ass about those file types. What gets me is how Microsoft approaches this crap. There’s no attempt at an elegant solution. It’s just assembly line stamping of a hack onto what used to be a pretty solid OS. Something tells me Windows 7 won’t be much better on this front. I expect by the time you’re seeing commercials for Windows “Blue Whale” (more bloat for more money with absolutely none of that innovation crap!), we’ll have seen at least 2 service packs and a multitude of those tiny little KBs to fix every single security hole they re-introduced with the new OS.

Maybe one day, they’ll wake up and try to implement a mini-VM model in the OS so you never have to worry about one app grabbing another app’s lunch without asking.

You can’t Microsuck enough, Microsoft…

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Windows Mojave, fittingly named after a desert…

Monday, December 15th, 2008

So, Microsoft’s been carpet bombing your favorite channels with the Mojave Experiment commercials purporting to show how the general populace has been duped by a handful of cranky geeks (and, uh, the general media but they don’t know what they’re talking about either).

I find it funny that the fake Windows was named after an arid desert with hostile climates…and they’re using a Polynesian theme song. I guess Microsoft is consistent with their confusion and lack of insight into just about anything they create nowadays.

Back to our news. I’d been curious (Microsoft generally pisses me off…love/hate relationship…but I have to know) as to what they were showing in Vista. I know people who upgraded for one reason or another (64-bit OS, just wanted something modern, etc.). Were they happy with it? Yes and no. I know a gamer who did and instead of getting some sort of super OS with DirectX 10 (which is the other reason outside of the 64-bit OS/increased RAM support that he upgraded). He had a joy of a time trying to deal with the driver incompatibilities and hoping the games he was trying to play would work (forget about backward compatibility as it’s hit or miss).

My experience? I had even more fun…I got to play with Vista’s big brother, Windows Server 2008. What a sack of shit. Of course, the UAC had to go because whoever invented that load of crap should’ve been locked in a house running Server 2k8. Go to open the bathroom door, “You are about to open the bathroom door, are you sure you are trying to do this?” What the fuck? Are you telling me it’s THAT hard to determine if I clicked with my mouse or if a malicious program sent a click command at position 10, 20? Fuck sake, then, you’re building a new fucking OS, make the API calls made directly (rather than from drivers) fucking go through the UAC check…not ME, the human clicking the hardware device passing the signal through the USB cable to your sorry bus.

I gotta say, I think the QA department that had to deal with this fubar feature deserver medals of honor.

On a whim, I visited the Mojave experience site. I love it…they give you a small/short video on the demo they presented to these focus group people…god I hope they presented more than that because if that’s all they presented you’ve got to wonder if Microsoft even realize how stupid they look? The demo talked about the backup and shadow copy functions of the OS….Oooo…so impressive. The fuck? Is it me or is no one noticing that you had to SEARCH for the fucking backup tool. And, for the average joe…they could give a shit. Oh, and I noticed the demos were done on laptops. Uh, just how “quick and easy” would the backup be for people who, in day of pennies per GB HDs (I just bought a 1TB drive for $120, jeez), have a 250GB hard disk be that simple?

Anyhoo, I think Microsoft was going down the right path when they did their little mock commercials in the “I’m a PC” series. It was down their alley (straight-laced, not funny) but it worked and didn’t make them look stupid…it made them look like they are…the market leader (not that people have that much of a choice). Maybe instead of fighting Apple, they should just learn a little bit. After all, Apple’s software isn’t that much better than Microsoft’s in terms of stability and functionality (they just design it better but good luck when things don’t go according to plan…unless you’re a UNIX-head).

With that, I leave Microsoft to CONTINUE to suck. They already can’t suck enough…just had to add to the pile.

Suckers…

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Posted in Commercials, Microsoft, Operating Systems | No Comments »