They added this little string resource management tool which in some respects is good (because you don’t have to write the fucking XML that Microsoft seems to have fallen in love with since the late 90′s) but is terrible in others…case in point. For some fucking reason some Microserf sitting deep in the belly of Microsoft’s sweatshop in Redmond (I have to assume)…insulated from the politics of middle management (read: OfficeSpace)…this lone engineer decided that SHIFT-SPACE is an awesome UI tool for selecting an entire row in a list…hmm. Let’s think this through.

You can TAB and CTRL-TAB around windows, fields, all sorts of Microsoft UI shit. Sure…great. You can use control with HOME and END to turbo charge those keys. Awesome…all sorts of finger gymnastics that, though they could be more useful in the hands of someone else…namely someone of the opposite sex…but why SHIFT-SPACE?

I understand the need to select a row…but, uh, let’s look at this closer. I’m working on a fucking string resource file. It’s got these things…called strings. They’re lines of fucking text that involve lots of typing. Ideally, these lines of text include lots of spaces since, after all, wedon’treallyreadthingswithoutspaces. And, lo and behold, we use the shift key to capitalize letters (CAPSLOCK IS FOR THE SCREAMERS OUT THERE).

So, where the fuck did the idea come from to use SHIFT-FUCKING-SPACE to select a row? This doesn’t happen in Word…oh wait, check it out…it works in Excel! So, it’s the Excel team (by team, I mean the 10k programmers working on Excel) that’s to blame. Some fucking idiot decided, “Hey, anyone know if there’s any key combo available for row selection?”

“Nah, I just went through the approval committee process to use ALT-CTRL-SHIFT-FUCK-F1-END for my Apply Row Fuck feature…I think SHIFT-SPACE is available, though…”

To which our idiot replies, “Swee fancy moses, I’m saved. Let me file forms 1209A, 29A3012, and 20D23X and get this sucker approved! I’m having steak tonight!”

Tivo on forward to today…as I, a lowly programmer trying to get the job done, select row after fucking row as I try to enter a single fucking line of text for the title of a page…

Oh well, now let me see how I can get the hell out of this field so I can submit this form…oh crap, I’m using IE…CTRL-SUCKME-SHIFT-TAB and I’m outta–

[ROW SELECTED]

GAH!