Now, I love fireworks when you go check out a show…been doing that since I was a kid until I got bored with just sitting and watching fireworks at shows…but I’m soooo tired of idiots in my neighborhood (and likely yours) that decide it’s their turn. Whether it’s legal or not, some jackass is going to go buy a shitload of fireworks because they think it’s a) cool, b) bitchin’, or c) better than watching Oprah.

So, this jackass now has all these fireworks but if you’ve ever lit one up you’ll know they don’t look that pretty during the day. Just a puff of smoke and a little light. Hey, let’s wait until it’s dark and blow some shit up!

Thus we arrive at my setup…nothing says stupid like the fact that people want to keep me up at night firing off their fireworks. Even better, they’ll fire off those boomers that do nothing but explode with a loud boom…no fancy light show. It’s just fun to blow shit up at one in the morning. Better yet, some of them aren’t even fucking Americans…immigrants. WTF? What the hell are you celebrating? This isn’t even your country (yet)! Is it that you can light up a firecracker without worrying it might start a firefight between the rebels and the government?

How about the “shows” some people put on in the street…it’s got all the trappings of a national pasttime…family and friends, BBQ, fireworks, slow-mo shots of the American flag waving.

What’s my problem you’re asking? My problem is this: do you understand what the fuck you’re doing? What exactly are you celebrating? Do you know? Do you think it’s better to set off fireworks, blow off a hand, or set fire to your neighbor’s lawn by lighting that shit up or is it better to thank someone who serves this country (soldier, police officer, fire fighter, etc.) since you’re not serving? Maybe you can think about how easily you allowed the Bush Administration to remove some of your freedoms you’re supposed to be celebrating (full disclosure: I’m a fan of better tools for cops…I’m not a fan of corrupt cops or government using those tools inappropriately).

You want freedom? Then maybe it’s time to start requiring 1-2 years of mandatory military or law enforcement service for all adults reaching the age of 18. You can treat them different from career military (i.e. they don’t get deployed to Iraq unless they volunteer) but teach them some discipline and teach them the skills they’d need to take out a terrorist or a criminal. Make it harder for this country to become a victim of terrorism because more people are likely to kill you on sight when you yell Allah Akbar.

And, if you want to go see fireworks, go to the MANY shows that are likely in your area, especially if you’re in a city. They look better, are bigger, and you get to be social too.

Here’s to looking forward to when my neighbors learn their lesson and end up doing damage to something or someone. It seems higher brain functions are optional around here…they gotta learn from doing rather than figuring it out on their own.

Happy 4th!

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