So, the buzz lately is Apple’s rumored tablet is going to be Verizon-subsidized and is definitely not a netbook.
The question is…do I need something that’s not quite an iPhone (but slap a chain on it and you can relive the 80′s all digital and shit) and not quite a laptop (where the fuck is the keyboard?) and still, knowing Apple, gonna cost almost as much as a laptop once you get the higher end version which will likely be the one that works better? Besides, I doubt it’ll have a DVD drive because if you don’t use iTunes to buy your movies you’re not making Apple money.
Better yet, there’s talk that it’ll be iPhoney in that you’ll need to use your greasy, grubby fingers to get things done…but hey, at least it’ll work more like an Etch-a-Sketch where you can shake it up to delete crap…Oooo…better yet! You shake it up and it resets everything to factory-settings!!!
Seriously, though, is there potential to eek out some more money from a section of the market that is willing to pay more than $300 for an iPhone (or $600 if you’re the poor sap who bought the iPhone 3G a few days before the 3GS came out) but less than $1500 for a laptop. Someone who just needs something bigger than an iPhone and smaller than a MacBook but doesn’t like the Air because it’s just too laptopy.
I’ve wanted to get a tablet for a while since I figured it would’ve been pretty damned cool if the handwriting recognition actually worked (truth: not well enough to allow you the freedom to just friggin write). But, the prices were too high (at least as much as a laptop…no keyboard included!) or you just had to wonder if it wasn’t just stupid to get a laptio for almost the same money if not less but with bigger screens, faster processors and more hard disk space.
Knowing the Apple zombies, as soon as Steve Jobs hobbles onto the stage and twitches, as the screen behind him blinds the crowd with the word iTablet, the horde will simultaneously drool and drop a bucket. Weeks later, mothers will be trading in their children for an iTablet, dweebs will line up for hours to grab one, and our President will announce the use of iTablets as part of a plan to revitalize the bond market.
You know what I’d rather see? I’d rather see a mobile version of the Cintiq from Wacom so you literally can sit under a friggin tree and wax creative without killing said tree to fill a drawing pad. I want to see a device that isn’t built around what Apple thinks you should be doing with it…instead it should be a device that gets the job done and done well.
Handwriting recognition that actually fucking works? Done. A built in still/video camera so I can literally copy a page from a book and annotate it? Done. A built in micro projector so I can take my beautifully annotated copy of the latest design doc I snapped and project it on a wall during a meeting that my colleague and start annotating as well? Fucking DONE!
Then Apple can digitize the thousands of textbooks out there costing students hundreds of dollars a quarter and make them available on iTunes for $9.99 per Quarter. BAM! Apple just kicked Amazon to the curb and guaranteed 50 million units sold as students put all that money saved into the purchase of the hottest party favor in history: a device that 
Genius Party Shuffles a party mix of music videos projected on to a wall while drunk college students can draw big penises over the video…DONE AND DONE!
Too bad, it’ll end up just being an nGage-like monster iPhone where I’ll be typing all my notes with no where to sync them up to while watching a rented video from iTunes while holding up the edge of the device to my ear and yelling “What? I can’t fucking hear you! They but the speaker on the other fucking side…”
Stay tuned!!!
UPDATE: Not even a couple days have gone by and Apple Insider‘s calling the ball on this one. You know how these things go…the more rumors that crop up the greater the chance you’ll be disappointed. But I guess we’ll only have to wait about six months to be disappointed.
UPDATE 2: Now TechCrunch is joining the party. You know it’s gonna happen then. Or maybe they’re just trying to catch up to the snowball…
