You Can’t Suck Enough

An open letter to the game industry, from yours truly:

The used game sales or “gray market” sales argument is back again. Gamasutra posted a news bit on GameStop’s press release about how used game sales are growing the market. The response? Mixed as always but you’ve got to love the idiots who are defending the developers and publishers saying that those devs and pubs deserve some of that “lost value” from used game sales.

You hear it time and again. It’s a license, not a physical asset or whatever the fuck they want to call it. Our poor widdle game shouldn’t be abused. It’s like the argument against piracy. I don’t believe in pirating my games, I pay full fucking price (unles Amazon’s got a deal!) for that bitch. Just so you know. But, the reasons for piracy are often the same: prices of games and the piss-poor quality of what the industry is producing.

I think you’ve got to take a look at the current economic issues so you can realize this sort of crap happens in just about every industry. The steel industry in the 70′s, the car industry just about every 15-20 years, etc. These industries get fat on their profits and get so full of themselves that they feel they can do whatever they want and whatever they say has to be the truth of the matter. Well, fat boy, let me tell you something. As each of those industries have had to deal with the same shit, so will you. You’re not invulvnerable and what’s coming out of your mouth ain’t gold.

People buy your games because they want to be entertained. They’ve dealt with your buggy releases and over-hyped but underdelivered fuck-ups for years now. They pay top dollar for a $50-60 game (higher for some console games) only to have their enjoyment cut short, whether due to a bug or because you decided games should railroad you down a specific short path and give you X hours of entertainment before the piss on you and leave.

Let’s put it another way. Do you think EA has any right to worry about The Sims’ franchise sales? They’ve sold 100 million copies of the game and its related expansions (some of which are nothing more than a handful of extras). You think they’re hurting on that front because someone decided they were tired of their copy and decided to sell it to someone for $10?

What about the car and movie examples? Ah, love these. Let’s start with the car one. Ignoring whether or not a car is a necessity (if you’re living in the middle of nowhere or in Los Angeles, that’s not an argument, it’s a requirement), let’s look at the product itself. Its manufacturers shell out a ton of money on R&D (just like the game industry does to finance game development) and then sells them new to consumers at as much a premium as they can (which isn’t a lot unless it’s a luxury car or an SUV). Car gets sold, but it’s not like it’s a license so maybe this isn’t the best comparison. Let’s go with it though. You drive that fucker to Vegas and back and decide it’s time for a new car. What do you do? Toss it in the back with your 50 other cars and find a new one? Naw, you go and sell it to a dealership or another person. Funny that. The car manufacturers thought just like you did…we’re losing money. But wait, instead of putting special locks on the car so only your fucking DNA opens the car or like current DRM, making it so that the car only starts if you start it in your driveway, they went and did something weird. They went and created the “pre-owned” market where they take those cars, refurbish/check them out, and resell them, often at a substantially higher margin. My God, is it possible? They figured out how to make money off used cars without bending the consumer over the hood. Imagine that.

Movies. Ah, now here’s an example…the movie industry dumps tens of millions of dollars into a movie (just like the game industry) and tosses it out to the movie theaters to make their money (oh yeah, and that little thing called the DVD). Not too far off from the mark. Though, when it’s in theaters, the consumer is paying for ACCESS to the film in a special venue. And the price is substantially less than what you pay for a game (though you’re there for less time). Fine, let’s switch to DVDs, those are closer to games, right? You’re getting a “license” to own the movie…oh wait, sorry, that word…own. Use, my bad. Use the movie for private use only. You paid how much? $5-20? Wow…uh, games are like $50-70 depending…well, collector’s and limited editions are really for the rich so let’s ignore that. But, you can’t buy used DVDs, right? The movie industry would never let that one slide given how little they got off of you for the new DVD…say what? You can buy “previously viewed” DVDs at Blockbuster or from Netflix? How much? $5-10 or less? Wait a minute. Does the movie industry get any of that? No? That’s bullshit. How can that be possible. The industries are so similar….

Okay, so you”ve fucked up. You think your games are better than every other consumer product out there and that you deserve to run a Gestapo to make sure everyone pays for those used games (what the fuck? Even state governments don’t get tax on everything fucker). How do you solve this? Well, you’ve already pissed on consumers with DRM (all those people who bought your game full price and legitimate-like now have to carry the burden while some schmuck down the street downloaded your game cracked and DRM-less…thanks bitch). So, what do you do?

How’s about you do nothing? How about you think in terms of the intangible PR capital you’re getting from all those people who’ve played, let’s say Call of Duty, and think it’s a fucking awesome game. Guess what? When you put out Call of Duty 2, you’ve suddenly gotten a huge number of fans who think you did a great job with CoD and so they can’t wait to grab CoD2…but wait, there’s more, you can push out CoD3, CoD4, and even a CoD5 and 6! Holy shit! Let’s try another one…The Sims 2. Push that shit out and give it to the consumer (no, I’m talking about selling it to them, not giving it to them free you moron…though, with all those expansions…hmmm). They love it. No DRM, no bad news, just all sorts of doll-house playing goodness for girls (underserved) and closet girls (nevermind). Next thing you know, you’ll tossed out about 10-20 expansions and “stuff packs” that cost you little compared to the sales you’re getting from all those loyal consumers who love you.

What? You say you don’t want to sit around idle doing nothing? Alright then, let’s brainstorm. I’ve got it. Why don’t you do the “previously viewed” thing? Better yet, do the “pre-owned” thing. Sure, offer a deal for consumers. They ship their used CDs/DVDs and manuals back to you for a $10-20 check. Or you work the distribution channels and either partner with GameStop or work with your existing retail outlets. The consumer gets $10 or even better a $20-30 coupon on their next [Your company name here] purchase. Meanwhile, you take what you got, clean that bitch up and rebox it in a clamshell or even a jewel case and sell it as “pre-owned” for $20-30. Full support/warrany, the works. Now, the consumer who hasn’t played your game because they can’t afford to buy $50 games every week says, fuck yeah, I can play CoD4 for $20? I’m there. Funny, you just sold that game twice. And you made some money.

Think about it. The only business where return sales isn’t important is casket sales. They are not coming back, my friend. So, get off your collective asses and think about solutions rather than whining and crying like fucking babies. And, let me know when you figure something out because until then, you bitches can not fucking such enough.

Suck me.