Ugh, got back from an early screening of this steaming pile of shit. Honestly, there are entertaining moments but to waste two and a half hours of your life in a theater watching John Turturo and some new guy act like fucking idiots while all the good stuff just flashes by is not worth it….turn back! Wait for the DVD! Drink heavily before you go!
Michael Bay needs to go back to music videos.
So, I managed to catch this movie today. The play by play is on twitter. But, overall, it was an entertaining movie. Some gripes:
1) I know JJ Abrams likes lens flares (see also Fringe) but for fuck’s sake, can you STOP getting them into your films?!? There was a scene where the lens fucking flare actually obscured the scene! Hello? We’re here to see the multi-million dollar movie you put on, not some amorphous blue-white supernova. Maybe this is just a cheap and simple way to do the Mystery Box thing without having to actually figure one out?
2) I won’t go into detail to avoid spoiling the movie for people but let’s just say what happened to BSG is happening to ST now. Maybe it’s okay but I swear if Bones turns out to be the Messiah or something, I’m going to hunt down JJ and make him watch COPS reruns for hours, eyes taped open.
3) Good work on all the little easter eggs and tie-ins to the original series…one thing though, if you’re gonna avoid the “classic” Star Trek theme over the titles could you at least make it good? “STAR TREK” comes up and all you get is a nebulous ball of noise…with someone banging on the bass drum (or rather hitting the bass key on their frigging keyboard). Sure you threw it on the credits but, uh, that’s when the movie’s over and you’re leaving the theater…People remember themes…Someone in the theater before the movie recognized the Back to the fucking Future theme of all things. Bang, bang…bang…bang…will not be remembered.
Okay, gripes over. Yes, it’s a good movie, go see it and pay their production budget off so they can make another one before all the actors die of old age.
done.
p.s. this says it all:
I’m not gonna bore you with some long winded review of the movie. Go see it yourself since you’ll know if you’re the type of person who wants to see it.
Suffice it to say, it tells the story well…I can’t say it was an exciting or otherwise orgasmic experience cause I’m not a fanboy. It’s always great to see some justified asskicking (thank you, Mr. Rorschach) but otherwise, it was too much shit to fit into a single movie. A mini-series might have been more appropriate, doucebags.
One complaint, though, is the fucking music. It’s like the guy who green-lit the music (likely the director but I’m sure someone else convinced him…well, maybe they did) is an idiot. While there were some great pieces being played they made no fucking sense. Upbeat music during relatively calm scenes was a common thread and it was stupid. I get it…you want us to tie the 70’s or 80’s song with the time period…great, thanks, we’re not stupid. We can figure it out.
Not sure if you should see it? Here’s a simple way to figure it out:
Do you like The Watchmen already? Are you into comics? Do you like comic-based movies? Then SOLD, go drop your lunch money on that bitch and we’ll see you on the other side.
Everyone else: consider the DVD a great option. At least you can pause and take a break to play a video game or something.
out
So, I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t point out that with the pending release
of Babylon A.D. to DVD, you can get…wait for it…a 2 hour and 40 minute “uncut” version of this disappointing slab of bullshit. I can’t wait!! Sorry, Vin…I love you, man, but fuck sake…
And, yes, that IS an affiliate link to Amazon…why? Because if you like that shit enough to buy it, then we deserve to make money on you. Sucker…
