You Can’t Suck Enough

I’ve had a hate-hate relationship with our patent system for quite some time now. An understaffed department of the US government is doling out patents for things that are more common sense than innovations. They’ve been doing it for years and it’s gotten worse as the rate of technological innovation and advancement grows exponentially.

TechCrunch had a quick blurb about Microsoft getting sued by a company called i4i which holds this patent: 5,787,449. It seems a judge ordered Microsoft to stop selling Word (pretty standard). I’m sure Microsoft will get the injunction delayed or something until the case is finally heard. Leave it to a blogger (wait…) to overhype a bit of news (yeah, I did the same thing, too bad).

Seriously, I think it’s time to toss some of that bailout money into the Patent office to hire more people who actually UNDERSTAND technology. In addition, it’s time to cap patent infringement penalties and set the default judgment for an infringement case to be a license/royalty of 1% of net revenue from the product’s sale. And that’s ONLY if you have a product on the market. If you don’t, then you need to PROVE you were working on a product (i.e. show that you weren’t sitting on the patent for longer than a year) to get the previously mentioned judgment and penalties.

C’mon, the main point behind the fucking patent system was to get ideas out there so innovation can roll forward. You have an idea for a round object that can be used to make carts move without being carried by slaves? Awesome, I’ve got a cart that needs slaves to go forward but jeez, your “wheel” as you call it means I can just put a horse in front of it and BAM, we’re rolling. Oh yeah, and someone said I can’t use slaves any more so it’s win-win.

Instead, it’s a system to a) prevent the world from innovating because you’re too greedy to fairly license your invention, and b) a method for a couple of guys who have no idea how to run a successful, global business to finally fund their company so they can sit on their asses and watch Bachelor reruns during work hours. And check their site…has anyone heard of them before today? Aren’t we the little company that found a way to read our patent that makes it sound like we own the world.

Check out the patent. It’s as obscure as you can get but they’re basically talking about ANY XML-based system…which you could argue means any SGML-based system which includes HTML. So, the browser you’re using is a potential violator of the patent along with the developer’s tools used to build the site you’re looking at right now. Oh, and if you’re a content management system vendor and decided to use some sort of markup-based method to make content storage vendor-agnostic, watch out.

I’m telling you. This system is stiffling innovation in this country…the same innovation that put us at the top of the world in innovation…the same innovation that drove many foreigners (yes, I’m talking to you Chinese and Indian visa holders) to come through and learn everything they can so they can benefit their countries (not ours)…the same innovation that makes money out of thin air (I’m talking to you Google)!

And before you start up on my being racist or anything, get the fuck out. I’m not even white.  I’m not saying ALL of them are here to steal everything and I don’t hate any of them. But consider this, there’s a reason two countries that had little modern technological innovation and even industries until the last decade or so are suddenly in the mix. India has a middle-class now because of this country…both because of the knowledge they’ve gained but also the opportunities they’ve taken advantage of. You think Shanghai would be where it is now if it wasn’t for all those Japanese, European and American factories that were built and then claimed by the Chinese for one reason or another? The key here is that there’s a global economy out there and we’re a big part of it.

I give us 50 years before we’re a vassal of China. We’re already in debt to them (thank BUSH for that, not OBAMA, you fucking townhall ragers). They steal everything they can from us (though it’s our fault…whose epicfail idea was it to launch a US military TOP SECRET satellite on CHINESE soil? What did you think was going to happen?). And everyone out there (yes you) would rather ensure they get their gas guzzling fucking cars than spend a dime on education. Did you know the California penal system’s budget is TWICE as a large (100% more than) the state’s education system? You know the California lottery? About how it was supposed to funnel billions into education? Well, someone forgot to mention the billions they took out.

I almost think going the trade-secret-only route is the best solution here. Then again, I’m a fan of competition as long as it’s not just simple knock-off bullshit. Competition helps drive innovation and lights a fire under your ass to do better. Look at every case where monopolies raged (rail, steel, whatever)…notice how the leaders of those industries just milked their customers rather than continue to innovate (we might be driving flying cars right now if it wasn’t for Big Oil spooning with the automakers)?

Back to the main story…I got one word for i4i: SCO. Their stock is trading at a whopping $0.09/share. Good luck. Enjoy the ride you ambulance chasing trolls…hope your new Gulfstreams don’t slam into a mountain by mistake–that’d be a waste of a good plane.