Archive for the ‘Games’ Category

Another Patent Troll Surfaces…

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

paltalk-logoSeems there’s another company (they breed like cockroaches) with patents on an idea that’s as basic to today’s world as breathing.

PalTalk Holdings (note: holdings…which means, we can’t make money doing anything so we have to buy some patents and sue people) managed to convince Microsoft it wasn’t worth pursuing a $90 million lawsuit. They settled in a way that sounds like Microsoft either agreed to pay a couple million a year in licenses or a nice lump sum of a few million more for a lifetime license (something these trolls love to do).

Now, CocksuckTalk Holdings is pointing its grubby little paws at MMO makers, SOE, Activision Blizzard, NCSoft, and Jagex (the makers of Runescape). With Blizzard pulling in over $1 billion a year with WoW, you can imagine what these cocksuckers are seeing. I’m sure they’re hoping they can get a solid settlement that adds up to tens of millions of dollars a year or a lump sum closer to $100 million so they don’t have to worry about their in ability to produce something worth selling.

This sort of trolling sickness has got to be stopped. It’s 100% counter to the point behind a patent system. I’m telling you right now, the more this sort of bullshit is allowed to continue the less innovation as a method of advancement and commerce will be seen as worthwhile.

If you’re going to patent something, patent it to protect what you’re producing. And, the USPTO needs to learn to stop allowing generic patents through.

And, assuming the patent isn’t that generic (this article hints that it was more specific and thus wasn’t even applicable), Microsoft handed PalTalk what it needed to make life hard for a lot of people. Mind you, most aggressive trolls suffer the consequences of their greed but time will tell if we’ll be able to see PalTalk’s bankruptcy filing in the near future.

Hey, PalTalk, you’re ranking high on the list of those who just can’t suck enough. Go fuckĀ  yourselves and find something better to do…

Boy, I hope they piss off someone at Blizzard enough for them to invest a few million in ripping you to shreds. And, as you shiver and moan in the aftermath, all you see is all that money you were hoping to make off this go towards buying back all your credibility you left behind in a pool of your own blood.

Games Industry Cries Like a Bitch Over Used Game Sales

Sunday, January 18th, 2009

News at 11…AM that is. Gamasutra, our favorite source for controversial game industry news, squeezed out another one. GameSpot goes optimistic and says used game sales are growing the industry and they’ve got to point out that the games industry feels its losing money because it. So fucking stupid. So much so it deserved a full-on rant.

Why do these entertainment industries go through the same shit? First it was the movie industry, luckily they stopped at putting those annoying FBI warnings at the start of your movie…which you can’t fast forward by…even if you’ve owned the DVD for years and have watched it 10 times…

Then it was the RIAA. Music execs digging in their heels while the modern era of MP3s rose above them was fucking hilarious. Steve Jobs made them his bitch though they’re finally back on track to figuring this shit out and making it work, somehow. We’ll see.

Now, it’s the game industry. They fucked you, the consumer, over with DRM (and continue to do so) and are once again harping on how much money they’re losing on used game sales. Fucktards. Guess what? You’re about to lose even more…how much you want to bet they’re going to go full force with the DRM thing…it’s perfect for them (in their minds) because now they can control who plays what. But, with the amount of pirated versions of DRM’d games out there, I think it’s time for these fuckers to wake up and stop trying to bend over the consumer to get their money.

Again, check out the rant: To the Game Industry: Shut the Fuck Up. Then go out and buy yourself a DRM-less game.

Suckers.

Best Buy: Best Bought Elsewhere

Saturday, January 10th, 2009

Gamasutra posted a news brief regarding Best Buy’s slumping entertainment sales. It seems Best Buy couldn’t maintain sales growth in the middle of a recession. Go figure. Better yet, the company had warned everyone before the holiday shopping season that they wouldn’t be able to handle it anyway.

Have you, Best Buy, ever considered that your business model might be flawed? Unlike a lot of people, I buy my games. I drop serious cash every year to play the assorted crap the game companies toss out to us gamers like rotten meat to a pack of ravenous wolves in the hopes that one of them…one day…one time…will be good. So, when I go into a Best Buy and see a game that’s been out for over a year still being sold at retail I gotta wonder, do they realize the box is covered in dust and sitting with its other ten siblings on the shelve while Fry’s down the street has turned over the same ten or eleven boxes two times over?

Here’s how Fry’s does it: New game comes out? Unless it’s some stupid game everyone wants so bad it’s…well…stupid, it’s discounted the FIRST DAMNED WEEK! And, no, not one of these bullshit 1.25% discounts…we’re talking 30% bitch. I can’t tell you how many times I’d go in there and I’d see it…the little yellow card showing the price of a $49.99 game at $34.99. I’d stop…look around for the hidden camera or the couple of employee dorks sitting in a corner snickering and neither would be there. I’d grab that bitch and get it to the checkout, furtively looking around in case the Feds show up and book out of there like a cheerleader running from a mob of geeks.

Don’t get me wrong, there are other benefits to Best Buy…like the fact that the salespeople actually ask to help you (okay, Fry’s salespeople do take a break from gossiping with each other enough to do that but it’s a rare sight to see), even though they’d rather not. Or…uh…give me a minute here. It’s cleaner?

Oh, and don’t forget Amazon…oh, Amazon, you bright beacon of consumerism. Amazon, where you don’t pay tax, can get it overnight for $3.99 and can get it 30% off. Oh, how I love you. Oh, how I dream to buy from you…at least until you fuck me over.

Suffice it to say, Best Buy is as someone put it “a necessary evil. Necessary since I can go in and physically touch/demo
merchandise.” Have you NOT heard of volume? Fucksake, just discount your games…you know it’ll work. Clear your fucking shelves and order more so you can clear it again…guess what? That’s double-digit growth right there bitch.

’nuff said. Best Buy can try to suck me ’til the ravenous wolves come home but they still can’t suck enough.

Lates Suckers!

EA + Spore = Suck

Thursday, November 6th, 2008

Welcome to the EA Suck. I’ve got a two month long customer service ticket open with EA’s Spore customer service portal…it’s full of drama and stupidity. It’s a prime example of how to take the quivering mass that was my shaky confidence and trust in the EA brand and not only stomp and runover it…but also teabag it.

The Web is littered with Spore login problems along with the usual DRM diatribes…which make me wonder just how much “success” EA sees in this IP…sure it sold loads of units but the hit to their PR and the continued hit caused by their customer support represents a huge unknown cost they’ll be paying off for years…oh, and lookie here…I guess it’s coming sooner than expected!

EA…you keep asking for my money then wonder why I’m walking out the door…you couldn’t suck enough if you just sat there wearing Richard Simmon’s shorts, mumbling the national anthem because you don’t know the lyrics, while waxing your chest hair and screaming Andy Dick. Time to check what I can download off Steam…oh, look! FarCry2…thanks UbiSoft!